Okay men, we are to love our wives. Most of us do. At least we say we do.
But, the bar for that love to our wives is set so high—so aggravatingly high. Wives, have sympathy for us. God requires us to love you as Christ loved the church! Who can do that?
Notice that the apostle Paul, the author of these words above, tells us to "love" (present tense) as Christ "loved" (past tense). He points first, not to Christ's ongoing love for the true church, but back to His supreme sacrificial act of dying for her. We are to love like that. Impossible!
Certainly, there has never been an act of love to this degree in the history of mankind. The cross was that act of love which presents the Bride, His church, blameless before God, "without spot or wrinkle, or any such thing." It washed and pardoned His church once-for-all, so that all believers will be received into God's eternal world.
We can't accomplish what Christ did when He died. But we are to love our wives in the same way that Christ did—by sacrificing for them. That's the point.
Need Motivation?
So, are we men to live in disappointing failure all our lives, constantly falling short of true biblical love for our wives? Who can consistently love like Jesus did when He died? I've often been so disappointed at the inadequate love I exhibit that I can hardly hold my head up. If you are like me, you need motivation.
Merely acknowledging that Christ's sacrificial act of love is our standard will not provide sufficient motivation to love our wives as we should. It may help us for a day or two, but God knows we need more. Thankfully, He has something to say that will make sacrificial love almost unavoidable. How would you like to fulfill your responsibility as a husband to love sacrificially because you want to, not because you to?
Read his logic:
So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself, for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, because we are members of Christ. (vs. 28-30)
Here is the way it works: He states that Christ'songoing love for the church is due to the fact that the church has been made His own body. As Christians, we are "members" of Christ—that is, we are His hands, feet, ears, nose, and big toe. For Christ to love us is for Christ to love His own body. His love for Himself is the reason for His unselfish love for you.
Like Christ who lovingly cares for his spiritual Body, the church, we naturally care for our physical body! When we tenderly treat that painful hangnail, we are a living illustration of this astounding truth.
So what does all this have to do with loving our wives?
Simple: Our wife is also our own body, according to the Genesis passage Paul cites in his appeal. He concludes, "He who loves His own wife loves himself."
In fact, the more you love yourself, the more you love her! This principle turns selfishness into love! Because we're experts at loving ourselves, I'm confident that even the worst of us can do this!
Men, God has put the cookies down on the table where we can reach them now. Any old slug who can love himself, can love his wife sacrificially. When you are tempted to demean your wife, or dismiss her needs, say, "I'm doing this to myself!" If our perspective is right, our love will be right!
But, the minute you forget that, you will be the same old creep you've always been.
Copyright © 2008 Jim Elliff
Permission granted for reproduction in exact form, including web address. All other uses require written permission
www.CCWtoday.org
I had the privilege of hearing his wife Holly speak at True Woman '08. She had some great words for wives and mothers also.
ReplyDeletePraise the Lord for their high regard for marriage and family!
Amanda Jones
I wonder though, how many husbands really understand the love God has for them? I think that if they did understand it they would in turn be able to give that love to their wives. On another note, not to beat up on husbands, but I heard on Dr. Donbson's show one time that before men say "I Do," they have a check list in order to get the woman to the alter. They always show her the best side of them. There is nothing to big or too small that doesn't have his undivided attention for her. The time he takes to make sure she is loved is beyond measure. The woman trusting what the man is bringing into the "relationship" is excited because she thinks that there isn't another man on earth who behaves in such a loving and sacraficial manner towards her. Problem is, that once the "I Do's" are over, the man has gotten to the bottom of his check list and the woman is just beginning her new life in the relationship. Not soon after the marriage many men become dismayed and withdraw into their cave and stop being the person that their wives married them for. Some men become resentful and look at their wives as a heavy weight around their neck. Hence, the term "ball and chain."
ReplyDeleteWe are to submit ourselves to God. God says "If you know to do the right thing and do it not, it is sin." So we (husband and wife) need to follow God's word, submitting ourselves to the Lord and to one another in order for their to be a true marriage of the heart. Each has a role to play and a responsibility to fill. Love is a commandment not just a feeling. I have heard it said that if you do the work in the marriage (husband and wife) that the feelings will follow. Take heart men, try really loving your wife, get to really know her and see what God will do for your relationship.