Book Review: Sex is not the Problem (Lust Is)

After numerous men in our church confessed that they struggled with pornography and other lust-related sins, other brothers in Christ rallied around them to give them the support, encouragement, accountability and prayers that are essential to overcoming the flesh.

Much has been written on the subject of sexual temptation, but a lot of the available Christian resources fail either to address the issue biblically or to connect the teachings of Scripture in a practical way to everyday life. However, I am pleased to say that I have recently read a book that is well-balanced and very effective on both fronts. In fact, the book's effectiveness lies in the fact that it is so well-balanced, shooting straight with its readers from the Word of God.

The book I'm referring to is written by Joshua Harris and is entitled Sex Is Not the Problem (Lust Is). The book is a quick read, being less than two hundred pages, in large type. It is written for both guys and gals, and has received a number of endorsements from highly respected Bible teachers of both sexes (e.g., Nancy Leigh DeMoss, John Piper, and Jerry Bridges, to name a few).

There are three parts to the book: (1) The Truth about Lust; (2) In the Thick of the Battle; (3) Strategies for Long-Term Change. In Part One, Josh shares the main reason why we lose our battle against lust: We have the wrong standard for holiness; the wrong source of power to change, and the wrong motive for fighting our sin. Typically, we come up with our own standard for sexual purity -- a set of rules -- and believe that by adhering to that standard, we can be sexually pure. Furthermore, we seek to obey our set of rules in our own strength. We do this in order to "feel" like a pure person, to show God how good we can be, etc. Then everything comes crashing down. Our guilt becomes overwhelming so that we feel like we can't pray, that we are no good to God, that we are nothing but a big hypocrite. Josh points out how this approach is inconsistent with Scripture. To begin with, God's standard is nothing short of absolute perfection: "But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, of or greed, because these are improper for God's holy people" (Ephesians 5:3, emphasis mine). This standard puts sexual purity far beyond our natural grasp to reach -- and that's the point. Nobody has ever perfectly obeyed God's standard, except Jesus Christ. He alone is our source of righteousness, our source of strength. He alone can free us to be holy. In the closing pages of this section, Josh carefully lays out the definitions of -- and the differences between -- the doctrine of justification and the doctrine of sanctification. Understanding these are essential to understanding the basis of our acceptance to God and our ability to overcome sin.

In Part Two, careful consideration is given to the practical aspects of fighting sexual lust. The reader is led through a series of questions to help determine when he/she is weakest, and what to do about it. Various "lust-triggers" include the Internet, television, the local gym, and other potential instruments of temptation. It's important to realize that the tools themselves may not be sinful, nor is the temptation. When it comes to the media, however, we must be aware of its attempts to "define reality" for us. To put it in Joshua Harris' own words,

Entertainment goes straight for our hearts. . . . Media never reasons with us in its attempts to convince us to love lust and sin. You'll never see the CEO of a television network standing in front of a flip chart explaining why adultery is good. But that same CEO might have his company create a television drama that engages your emotions and, through the power of the story, makes the sinful act of adultery seem appealing.

Harris' point is well taken, considering the figures from Nielsen Media Research, which reveal that the average US household consumes 8 hours and 14 minutes of TV per day, and the average individual American watches 4 hours and 35 minutes a day! If we are going to be holy, we must examine and be willing to change our viewing habits. As Harris points out, "There is no such thing as 'must-see TV'. . . . The only thing that's essential is walking with God and pleasing Him. And if that sometimes requires cutting back on what we watch, it's no real sacrifice."

The third and final section of the book deals with strategies for long-term change. In short, Josh talks about the importance of accountability, arming yourself with Scripture (this is one of the best chapters of the book), and sowing to the Spirit. We are reminded that the fight of faith, the fight against sin, is the fight of a lifetime. We are all works in progress, and "God calls us to trust Him in the struggle against lust, to persevere and so prove the reality of victory accomplished by His Son."

At the very end of the book, the author inserts a special section entitled "Purity Download," wherein he offers Seven Tips for Fighting Internet Porn. Those whose battle with lust is waged mostly on-line will find this section most helpful.

In closing, let me say that I found this book to be utterly true to the teachings of Scripture while being "refreshingly real" in addressing the lust-related issues of our day. The author hits the subject of lust head-on, speaking in frank terms, without being crude or titillating. I especially appreciated Josh's explanation of how lust is operative in both men and women, though in different ways. This facet of teaching has been largely ignored in most other books on sexual sin, in my opinion. I anticipate that both men and women will glean much in their reading of this particular section.

I am inclined to think that just about anyone would benefit from reading Harris' book. Though written primarily for Christians, the book does give a very straightforward presentation of the Gospel, pointing everyone to Jesus Christ as the only way of salvation and freedom from the guilt and power of sexual sin.

This book is great not only for individuals, but also for groups. In fact, it comes with a group study guide for both men and women. As indicated by the gender-specific study guides, this book should be utilized in an all-male or all-female group rather than in a mixed group, due to the sensitive nature of its content. Also, in light of its mature content (one chapter in section two, for instance, deals specifically with masturbation), I would recommend that this book not be read by children or pre-adolescents. I think it is suitable for teens and that it would be ideal for parents to read through the book with their teenage children -- fathers with their sons, and mothers with their daughters.

As stated on the back cover, "Neither sex nor sexuality is our enemy. We need to rescue our sexuality from lust so we can experience it as God intended." Joshua Harris' book goes a long way in meeting this need by leading us through the muck and mire of lustful passion, on to the high plains of biblical sexuality. For this reason, I recommend his book enthusiastically.