The following post is the reprint of an article by Gene Edward Veith that appeared on page 9 in the August 11, 2007 edition of World magazine (http://www.worldmag.com/). Read it carefully, as there are some provocative statements made that may challenge your way of thinking! (I have highlighted some of these in blue font.)
Christian parents and churches need to face up to a problem long hidden in the dark: Evangelical teenagers are just as sexually active as their non-Christian friends.
In fact, there is evidence that evangelical teenagers on the whole may be more sexually immoral than non-Christians. Statistically, evangelical teens tend to have sex first at a younger age, 16.3, compared to liberal Protestants, who tend to lose their virginity at 16.7. And young evangelicals are far more likely to have had three or more sexual partners (13.7 percent) than non-evangelicals (8.9 percent).
What about abstinence pledges? Those work--for awhile--delaying sex on an average of about 18 months, with 88 percent of pledgers eventually giving up their vow to remain virgins until marriage.
These are the findings of sociologist Mark Regnerus, himself a Christian, published in his new book Forbidden Fruit: Ses & Religion in the Lives of American Teenagers (New York: Oxford University Press, 2007).
It isn't that evangelical teenagers do not know any better. Some 80 percent of teenagers who say they have been "born again" agree that sex outside of marriage is morally wrong. Still, as many as two-thirds of them violate their own believes in their actual behavior.
We can blame the culture. Regnerus gives evidence that correlates the sexual activity in the schools that Christian kids go to with their own behavior. Peer pressure is real, and Christian teenagers are not immune.
But might we also blame the culture of the church? Not only because so many of today's evangelical churches follow the path of cultural conformity as a way to grow bigger and bigger. It is deeper than that.
Churches used to teach and exemplify self-control, the necessity of keeping one's emotions in check, the discipline of self-denial and mortification of the flesh. Today the typical evangelical church, in its example and practice, cultivates "letting go," emotionalism, self-fulfillment, and an odd religious sensuality.
The Bible is utterly realistic about the weakness of our fallen flesh. The law alone and external restrictions cannot make anyone righteous. We need Christ for that. An encouraging finding of Regnerus is taht the 16 percent of American teenagers who say that their faith is "extremely important to their lives" are living chastely.
Evidently, many "evangelical" and "born again" teenagers still need to be evangelized. They need to be brought closer to Christ, so that a growing faith can bear fruit in better conduct.
And the Bible does offer a direct solution for people who are burning in lust: marriage (1 Corinthians 7:9). Adolescence--that time when a person is physically an adult but socially a child--is a modern invention. In the past, people married much younger, as soon as they were sexually ready. Today's culture postpones marriages while stretching celibacy to the breaking point.
A counter-cultural church may do well to encourage younger marriages. The young couple may still need the financial support of their parents and the social support of their fellow Christians. But this would be better than the current hypocrisy and guilt. And it would fulfill God's positive purpose for sexuality.
Well, that's the end of the article. What say you? Think it over and leave a comment!
The evidence suggests that many born-agains do not represent born-again behavioral patterns. Assuming that the majority of those who identified themselves as "born-again" truly are, then this study is very scary indeed.
ReplyDeleteI agree that peer pressure is real and relevant to the sins of teens; if that is the case, then protecting our children through Christian education systems (either traditional pedagogy or home-schooling) may be a proper corrective measure.
To go deeper into the commentary's discussion of the church's culture, the question of divorce looms large. With "sanctity of marriage" making the rounds in popular evangelicalism, evangelicals' own marital infidelity is all too glaring a self-contradiction of the generally given position on the topic. If teens are to look into their churches for examples of relationships purporting to follow the Bible's teachings, but see instead the actual contradictory results, then choosing other lifestyles, such as cohabitation out of wedlock, may seem no more damning than striving for a statistically expectable divorce.
While I am five years out of teen-hood, I know many people, professing Believers, of my generation who have reduced the Biblical prohibitions on fornication to practical non-applicables. Also, I am increasingly learning that a strong paternal relationships for young girls is absolutely critical; if a father is not there to make sure that a boyfriend has more in mind than physical gratification, a "just say no approach" is, frankly, too often doomed to fail.
Wake Up! what's really going on in the lives of our teens? A great read, "Teaching True Love to a Sex at 13 Generation" by Eric and Leslie Ludy is a well done book encouraging parents and role models opportunity on how to give kids a vision of something worth waiting for. Folks who want to go the extra mile to help their kids escape today's sexual morass, embrace the call!
ReplyDeleteAs a parent of teens this is particularly disturbing. It is our responsibility to make waiting for sex until marriage more desireable than having it now. Just telling them to wait will not work.
ReplyDeleteDennis and Barbara Rainey of Family Life Ministries has prepared a weekend retreat program for Dads and Sons or Moms and Daughters, called Passport to Purity. While not the only tool to use it is a good place to start the conversation and open the doors of communication so our kids will know they can come to us when the pressure gets too much.
Each teen must also be covered in prayer daily. While we cannot be there with our teen when they are making tough decisions, God is with them and will guide them.